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[19 Oct 2006|12:26pm] |
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It's important to have a job that matters, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.
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| When life gets you down...fuck it all up. |
[28 Sep 2006|07:40pm] |
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mood |
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So. I hate where I live and I hate where I go to school. This isn't news.
What is news, depending on whether you caught my slip in a prior entry, is that I've applied to UofM.
Yes, perhaps years too late, I'm trying to escape from the shithole that is OU.
So, hopefully I get into UM. After that, I'd really really like to go to grad school at UofT...which is, the University of Toronto.
Yes, in Canada. After graduating from there, I'd apply for citizenship in Canada. Because I love Toronto and I want to live there.
My only two options I'm considering at all for life path is 1) law school or 2) university professor.
So that brings me to now. I was sitting in my APM 263 class, hating everything going on. I hate math. Mostly because I couldn't care less about it. So I realized, if I get a computer science degree, then I get my master's in comp sci, then I get a phd and teach it at a university. I fucking hate computer science. Do I like computers and technology and games? yes. Do I give a flying fuck how it works? Hell no.
What do I love? What would I love to research? What would I love to teach to university students? Psychology.
Yep, I'm switching my major. To Psychology.
I even sat down and planned out all my classes for it. I never plan anything. And I was excited. I'm still excited.
I mean, I was having the toughest time deciding between Social Cognition, Motivation, Interpersonal Processes and Group Behavior, or Emotion. How can you decide!
And that's just one of the groups. I also had to choose between Abnormal Psychology and Coping Strategies in the Normal Personality, and in another grouping between Adolescence and Youth or Socialization in the Family.
Such great topics! I'm gonna try to take more than the one required, just because it all seems so amazing to learn.
But yeah...if I get stuck at OU and take a full course load, w/ spring and summer class options, I will for sure graduate by May 08. Which is a long ways away. But it's no farther than it would be w/ comp sci or whatever they're pulling with this CIT bullshit.
And, to top it all off...I'll be happy. :)
( For those who are curious, a course listing )
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| More from Anonymous Lawyer |
[14 Sep 2006|02:33pm] |
"Secretaries can't have any secrets. They sit right out in the open, easier to scream at from your office, easier to grab when you're running down the hall. They're the eyes and ears of the firm, although most of them do that job about as well as Helen Keller."
"[Associates] need to take care of themselves so they don't get sick, because you're not really allowed to get sick here. I'm making a note to play around at the end of the year with her billable-hour reports so she doesn't get a full bonus, as payback for this whole 'sick' thing. I'm sick too. Sick of her."
"I'm sure The Suck-Up would be more than willing to take one for the team. Or one of the Foreign Dudes. By the time the news gets back to their families in Pakistan or Cuba or wherever they're from, it won't be our problem anymore."
"We had a student last summer who kept kosher. Or at least that's what she said. But anytime she got offered lunch at someplace exceptional, suddenly she wasn't kosher anymore. You asked her to go to a cheap Indian place down the street, oh, she can't, she's kosher. But if you wanted to drive up the coast for a long lunch at Nobu in Malibu, perfect, she'd eat anything. She'd eat raw shrimp wrapped in bacon with a glass of milk, off the naked stomach of a Palestinian, on Yom Kippur, if you told her it was expensive."
"... The more expensive the restaurant, the younger the food, with baby lamb chops, baby octopus, baby scallops, baby asparagus, baby corn, baby back ribs, and that it seems like the price point goes down ten dollars for every ingredient that's been out of the womb for more than a week."
Cracks me up. I love this book!
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| Sarah, I think you might like this. |
[10 Sep 2006|12:21pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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Metric ! Succexy |
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So I'm reading this new book I bought. It's called Anonymous Lawyer. It's done in blog-style, which is odd, but it's really really funny. I just keep laughing. At the jokes, the sarcasm, the law office humor.
A few quotes I enjoyed (and I've only read chapter 1/"week 1"):
"I'm a partner at a half-billion-dollar law firm. Staplers should be lining up at my desk, begging for me to use them. So should the young lawyers who think I know their names. The Short One, The Dumb One, The One With The Limp, The One Who's Never Getting Married, The One Who Missed Her Kid's Funeral -- I don't know who these people really are. You in the blue shirt -- no, the other blue shirt -- I need you to count the number of commas in this three-foot-tall stack of paper. Pronto. The case is going to trial seven years from now, so I'll need this done by the time I leave the office today."
"On the very first day of the summer program I made some throwaway comment about how I couldn't believe we had to waste the first week in training and he replied, 'Some of us are here to learn.' And one of us was apparently there to be a jackass."
"Anonymous Wife -- who, thankfully, took her Wellbutrin today (I crushed it up and put it in her oatmeal) -- led the partners on a splendid tour through the house, pointing out everything we'd rehearsed."
"We get the same batch of kids every year. The Suck-Up, of course, The Guy With The Bad Haircut, The Girl Who Dresses Like A Slut, Dopey, Ditzy, Drinky, Clumsy, and Oops, the one with the droopy mouth whom I definitely wouldn't have hired if her father wasn't a client. That Foreign Dude, from somewhere. It doesn't matter where. He's in America now. He should learn to assimilate. I hate hiring people with names we can't pronounce. It creates weeks of awkwardness on everyone's part. The kids don't want to correct us, and we don't want to be corrected. I'll spend the whole summer calling him "Hey." It doesn't matter. I could call them all "Shitface" and they'd still respond."
and oh good lord I just realized that it keeps going, after the book ends... at http://anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com
This is great!
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| -sigh- |
[24 Mar 2006|10:59pm] |
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Hypocrisy, much?
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| Hey Kids... |
[01 Dec 2005|01:01am] |
It's world AIDS day, 2005.
Donate. Raise Awareness.
Don't be passive.
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| Sunday Fun Time |
[28 Nov 2005|10:56pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
So, we went to Detroit to go to Nancy Whiskey's. We could not find it. Oslo was closed. Bleu also looked closed. So we headed back up to Ferndale and we went to Como's. I introduced Christina (and Lisa?) to Sex on the Beach. It was good. Christina lost her cherry. ...and then found it later.
Also, I don't know how to use photoshop to remove red eye. And apparently I am a cam whore. Lisa took these. Well, they were taken on her camera anyways.
( Come on, baby. Light my fire. )
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| awww! what a ...bitch! |
[01 Nov 2005|05:59pm] |
Carl left me a heart with my name above it at work today.
How sweet.
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| GOD DAMN IT |
[01 Nov 2005|12:21am] |
Fuck this shit.
I'm sick of it.
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| ... |
[13 Sep 2005|12:24am] |
you understand, right?
I just can't have that.
Sorry. :-\ I changed my mind. 'Cuz really, I'm not.
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[01 Sep 2005|11:55am] |
I am so glad I'm not in New Orleans.
Armed mobs tried to attack a medevac helicopter.
Someone fired a gun at a military helicopter that was airlifting injured out of the Superdome.
People swarmed out of nearby buildings to board buses taking people out of the Superdome.
Looting is rampant.
There are gunshots every night, mostly shootouts involving police and looters, other times looters shooting at fellow looters.
Fuck the god damn gas prices, get these effing people out of there. Get them out. They're dying. And going insane.
They're shooting one another, they're shooting the people trying to rescue them.
Bodies in the water are going to disease anyone who comes in contact with that water.
The city is flooded, and they do not expect it to be "operational" for several months. MONTHS.
Could you imagine not having a home for the next 3-5 months? Let's go on, forget the home, your entire city is wiped off the map. Your job and your home and your belongings. They're all gone, and you can't get them back...for at least 3-5 months.
Your friends and neighbors are shooting at you. Mobs roam the streets. It's effing chaos.
So for real. While most of us bitch about how the hurricane has affected our gas prices, these people have had their lives ruined.
So next time you start to simmer over how high gas is...let's maybe think about the people who have to suffer more than elevated energy costs.
Some of them lost their lives. And really, not to be calous, but for those that survived...I'm sure some of them wish they hadn't.
And that, makes me very sad.
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| hahahaha |
[19 Aug 2005|01:06am] |
you are both douche cunts.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
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| Peace out... |
[16 Aug 2005|02:52pm] |
...and have a nice life.
Though, you served your purpose. That which you'll probably never know.
I've got enough friends. Better ones. So, yeah. Adios, fuckers.
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wrkdupsosexual's journal
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